Home > Its Okay to Not Be Okay > It’s Okay to Not Be Okay: Episode 12 Live Recap – Part 2

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay: Episode 12 Live Recap – Part 2

It's Okay to Not Be Okay: Episode 12 Live Recap - Part2

This is our part 2 live recap for It’s Okay to Not Be Okay!

Click here for part 1


Available worldwide! You can preorder the book now on Amazon for $2.99. We plan on moving the price up to $3.99 and then $4.99 after it is released. You can read the first three chapters then you can right here: Chapter One: Emma, Chapter Two: Emma, Chapter Three: Henry. We plan on posting even more chapters this week for the final countdown to release day!

Caution: Be wary of typos

How to Watch: Netflix

Shorthand Character Chart: It’s Okay to Not be Okay

How we do this: This live recap will be in two parts and we segment each post around every 10 minutes. Sometimes sooner, sometimes later depending on the scene. There will be typos which we have fantasies of fixing once the episode finishes airing. Also, if there is a preview then we will try and translate it. Look for that at the bottom or on a separate post!





Phil-ong is all dressed to leave the hospital. He says goodbye to Dr. Oh JW and patient Jung-tae. Dr. Oh JW tells him not to come back too early. Enjoy your outing. They both tell hi goodbye.

He leaves. Jung-tae says he will probably probably just ride the bus around and come back. The doctor thinks he will probably do that. Jung-tae asks, how can a guy who can’t even kill a little ant do that? Phil-ong told me that he killed a lot of people.

The doctor tells him that a nice person like him can not endure something like that.

Cut to Phil-ong looking at the ocean pleasantly. then he gets into the bus.


Kang-tae looks at the kitchen window when Sang-tae comes in. Sang-tae tells him that he should turn off the natural gas if he is done cooking. Then he asks if he slept well Your eyes are red.

kang-tae says he slept well then asks about his doctors visit.

ST – Yes, I have a doctors visit, butterfly is push-kay, push-kay is healing. But I am still afraid. What if I have the butterfly again. We will have to move out again.

KT – *holds his hand* Hyung, let’s not run away anymore. I am good at fighting, you know that.

ST – Yes, you are good at fighting, you are a red belt in Taekwondo, you beat up all the guys that gave m a hard time. And you are good at using your nails.

KT – That’s right, so if you are afraid just hide behind me.

ST – I am your hyung, I am an adult, I shouldn’t hide behind you. 

KT – Its okay. I hid behind you my entire life.

ST – My back?

Sang-tae turns around to think about his back. Kang-tae slips deep into a thought.


Sun Byul’s boyfriend calls so she runs off to take it. Joo-ri looks at her own phone and wonders why Sang-in is not calling her. Then the head nurse comes down and asks her to take Ko Dae-whan on a rock.

The head nurse also asks about Kang-tae. Joo-ri tells her that he just came to work.

Cut to the locker room. Kang-tae is not in his clothing yet. He compares the letter to the notes he found in Ok-ran’s book. But he can’t really compare then because the head nurse comes in right then. So he hides it.

She asks if it is a love letter from someone? He tells her no and asks what’s up. She tells him that she found this dangerous thing in room 210. She holds up a men’s razor. Then complains about Cha-yong not doing a good job.

Kang-tae apologizes and says he will train him better. hang-ja says okay and asks him to check the second floor.


Joo-ri helps KDW sit on a bench. He asks, will I die soon? Am I done with my punishment from God? She doesn’t answer him.


Sang-tae reads one of his books that he loves while on the bus. He mutters, the boy that became an adult did not have nightmares anymore. Phil-ong is on the bus as well and sits next to Sang-tae. He asks him if he is going to the hospital now?

Sang-tae says hello and tells him he is wearing pretty clothes and he looks young. he asks him how old he is. Phil-png says he is 70. Sang-tae says he is a lot a lot older than he is. You are an adult. Phil-ong says yes, but being adult doesn’t mean it is all good. He gives him some candy.

They start to chat about the painting and how it is really good. Sang-tae says it is really good by the director Oh Ji-whan did not give me money because I did not put a butterfly. What he says and what he does are different.

Phil-ong asks why he doesn’t just draw it? Sang-tae says he is afraid of it. Phil-ong asks, did something bad happen with butterflies? Sang-tae doesn’t answer so Phil-ong lightly tells him not to be trapped in the past or you will be like me. See, I can’t go out in the world that is why I am still in the hospital.

Sang-tae asks, trapped in the past? If you are trapped then you can open the door and get out. PO tells him he can’t open the door because he does not see the door. When you are trapped int he past you cannot come out, don’t be like me.

They both sit quietly.


Kang-tae checks all the patients room and finds sharp things all over the place. he also finds lighters and other things that patients should not have. One of the patients has a picture of Moon-yong and her family. The image of the mother is cracked.


While Phil-ong and Sang-tae are riding in the bus. They ride past a construction site where a person is using a jack hammer in the sidewalk. This triggers something in Phil-ong. He closes his eyes and holds his ears and his face turns red.

Sang-tae asks if he is okay? Is it that sound? He closes the window.

But Phil-ong is in full on PTSD mode from the war. it looks like he is a Vietnam War veteran. He sees the war going on outside the the bus and crumples to the ground.

But Sang-tae puts his shirt or jacket over Phil Ong and tells him that it is okay and asks someone to call the hospital and then starts to count 1-2-3 for Phil-ong and hugs him and tells him everything is okay. (Aw, Sang-tae is all grown now).


Cut to Phil-ong laying in bed at the hospital. The doctor and head nurse are at his side. He asks the doctor if he can just kill me. Dr. Oh JW is all like, don’t worry, you will die. We all will die. Don’t be in too much of a hurry. (said in his usual easy going pleasant way). 

Sang-tae looks in from the window.

The doctor comes out. Sang-tae tells him that Phil-ong can read his book and gives the doctor the children’s book about the kid who wanted all his memories erased. But he makes sure he knows that it is only for lend. The doctor says okay, I will give it to him.


Kang-tae hurries to the doctors office. Sang-tae is there happily. The doctor tells Kang-tae that Sang-tae acted fast on the scene. if he wasn’t there then Phil-ong would have had a hard time. Sang-tae is so proud of himself and Kang-tae is also proud of him as well.

The director tells Sang-tae to tell his brother what Phil-ong told him. Sang-tae says okay.

KT – What story?

ST – Ajusshi said don’t be like him. If you are t-trapped int he past then you will never come out. There is no door.

Cut to Cha-yong asking about Phil-ong’s trauma. The head nurse says that Phil-ong suffered a lot in Vietnam. He witnessed a lot of cruel things at the young age of 20. 

Then we go to Phil-ong’s room. He is curled over in his bed and telling Jung-tae about the little pretty kids he saw and how he couldn’t even see them. He just closed his eyes and killed everyone. Why am I still alive? He starts to cry.

Jung-tae tries to comfort him about it and says it was an order. But Phil-ong says if you only follow orders then you are an animal not a human. He keeps crying.

ST – Don’t forget, you should overcome it. If you do not overcome it then you are a little kid who will never grow up. I am not a little kid, I am an adult.

Doctor Oh beams at him. Kang-tae smiles proudly. Sang-tae says he is not running away. Dr. Oh JW tells him that he is so brave. Can you tell me what happened that day? Whatever you remember?

ST – *pauses* Yes….yes….

He closes his eyes and starts to try and remember.

ST – That day….

We see flashes of things.

Then we see him walking home thorugh a forested path with his mother. She told him he should go home with kang-tae because she will hve to work late. A cat runs across their path.

He calls the cat nabi which is butterfly. But you can also call cats nabi if the cat doesn’t have a name. The mother tells him to comeback, don’t go in there. Sang-tae comeback. Sang-tae bye bye, umma is leaving.

She slowly tries to walk after Sang-tae.

He gets the cat and start to come back. That is when he sees his mother fall after another woman stabbed her. This woman has a butterfly pendant on her lapel. 

Woman – I didn’t tell you before. I will take care of my kid.

Sang-tae doesn’t know what to do. The cat runs away. He looks at the woman’s eyes. She starts to walk towards him. The mother grabs her leg to stop her.

The woman looks at her and smiles then pulls her leg away. Sang-tae cowers away from this woman.

Woman – Ah, are you surprised? it si okay. It is okay. 

She pats him on the head and tells him he is a good boy. 

Woman – What you saw and heard, dno’t tell anyone. If you tell anyone then I will kill you. Wherever you run away to, I will follow you and kill you. Okay?

She grips the back of his head an tells him to answer her. He starts to hyperventilate and runs away.

VO – The butterfly landed on that ajumma’s clothes.

KT – Clothes?

ST – A butterfly was on the clothes.

The doctor stops Kang-tae from speaking.

JW – That butterfly, do you remember what it looked like?

ST – Yes, I remember. Well….*stretches his hands out and thinks* It was an umma butterfly and a smaller butterfly on top of it.

kang-tae kind of rmemebers that butterfly from the photo that he saw today of Moon-young’s family.

ST – it was two butterflies, a mother and baby.

Kang-tae walks away in a daze. 

VO – (MY) that is why we are fate.

VO – (KT) you said fate shows up when something is needed. I need you.

He punches the wall over and over again.

VO – (KT) Hopefully this time it is a happy ending.

He leaves a hole in the wall and keeps punching it.



Moon-young sits on a bench outside the hospital and looks at the sea. Joo-ri walks around the corner and sees her. She sits at the bench as well.

JR – i enjoyed your book

MY – I know.

JR – *chuckles* 

JR – *gets serious* Did you hear about your father?

MY – How long does he have? No, when does he die?

JR – it would not be surprising if he died tomorrow.

MY – I am sick and tired of doctor repertoire.

JR – if you are okay then when you have time, would you like to walk your father around with me?

MY – Joo-ri …. I don’t want to do it.

Joo-ri accepts that.


Sang-tae recounts the hero even he had in the bus to Soon-duk and says he put his jacket over Phil-ong just like Kang-tae does with him. Soon-duk is cleaning the tables but is also eating it all up. She tells him good job.

Sang-tae continues and says he lent him his favorite kid book of the boy with the nightmares. He told me thank you a lot so I am a thankful person.

Moon-young comes up and tells Sang-tae that she and oppa should go home together. He tells her that she should greet adults. So she looks at Soon-duk that smiles a greeting and says hello.

Then she tells Sang-tae that they should eat out together. Sang-tae tells her no, they need to save money to be rich.

Soon-duk tells him that the three of them really look like family. I am jealous. Sang-tae says no, not family, me and Kang-tae are Moon, you are Ko, we have a different last name, we are not in the family registry, we are not family, we are like family.

MY – Family does not mean you are in a registry. Family is….family is….when you take a family photo. We haven’t taken a family photo.

ST – Family photo?

MY – Yes, family photos prove family, not a family registry

Soon-duk chuckles a bit and tells them that they look alike. She walks away. Sang-tae asks, in the eyes? Moon-young says they do not look alike at all. Sang-tae tells him not to like. He tells her that she cut her hair and walks out.

Moon-young goes inside to see Kang-tae and sees that he is dressing his hand after punching the wall. She asks who did that to him. he sys no one. She asks if he is angry? Am I just making noise like an empty can without thinking about your emotions?

He turns around and tells her that he is just tired. He couldn’t sleep. He opens his locker and tells her to go home with hyung first. I have the night shift today.

She asks, really? Okay! Let’s rest and take a family photo with oppa tomorrow!

He thinks about her family photo.

She tells him that she already reserved a good studio. Let’s stop by a tailor and by a nice suit. 

KT – Next time.

MY – Huh?

KT – Next time.

MY – I reserved it.

KT – Cancel it

MY – I don’t want to! We should have a proper photo to be a real family.

KT – LEAVE! …. please leave….please….I have to work.

She looks at him and then leaves.

He almost loses it after she leaves and tries not to completely burst into frustration and tears.



That night, Sang-tae holds a suit in his arms and looks int he mirror. He practices his smile on the count of three.

Downstairs, Moon-young wants to know what happened with him. Why is he angry? She yells.

Jae-soo is there (lol, that is unexpected) and asks if she is talking to him or herself? Did you order ten boxes of pizza only to ask me if Kang-tae is angry. She smiles and asks, do you think I called you to eat ten pizzas? Why is he angry? You are his best friend so you should know why.

Jae-soo sits.

JS – Do you know how I stuck with Iron Wall? Because I don’t know anything about what he thinks. He hides his heart. Nothing good will come out if you force him to open it. Just comfort him quietly. That is all I do.

Cut to Kangtae sitting alone in a room in the hospital.

VO – Do you think he ever asked his parents for anything or misbehaved? He was just pushed here and there and suppressed himself and became an adult all of a sudden. How can you understand a not fully grown adult. The parents also don’t even know about their kids.

Moon-young looks at a photo of herself as a kid.

Kang-tae stands up, it looks like he is in the classroom. He goes to the chalkboard. Romeo and Juliet is written on it.

VO – (MY) we are just like Romeo and Juliet.

VO – (KT) Yes, enemies who never see each other.

VO – (MY) That is fate.

VO – (KT) That is tragic fate.

Int he classroom, he starts to erase the chalkboard but doesn’t. The doctor sees him on his way out and comes in.

JW – Hey, nothing is wrong with the body. The crazy mind is the problem.

KT – Director….

JW -Yes….

KT – The butterfly that killed my mom. I think that butterfly was Moon-young’s mom.

JW – Are you sure?

KT – I am afraid that I am sure.

JW – *sits*

KT – If it is a mistake or if I don’t know any of them then it would be better. But this is too cruel. Now I can finally breathe. I want to live how other people live. Because of that f-ing butterfly, I was crawling on the bottom. And that butterfly can be her mom. 

He looks at the doctor.

KT – When I met that person, I wanted to shred them. But I can’t do that anymore. *cries* I am so sorry to my mother and my hyung. I promised to hyung that I can fight for him. I told him that we shouldn’t run away. *cries and cries* F-the world. *falls to his knees* 

the doctor pats him on his back to comfort him. He is speechless.

KT – I hope Moon-young doesn’t know anything. I don’t want her to suffer. Or get hurt. Or care about others emotions. I hope she is just an empty can.

The camera scrolls away and shows a lantern with a moth or butterfly flying around it.



Kang-tae goes home and sits next to Moon-young while she is sleeping. He lightly touches her cheek and thinks about when they drank together and she got super drunk.

MY – I am so happy that you and Oppa came to this house. I really hated this house. 

KT – Why?

MY – Appa went crazy in this house. Umma was dead in this house. A lot of blood was from Mom’s head. Appa trapped Umma in he basement. But she disappeared from there.

KT – Disappeared?

MY – Yes. Is she really dead or did she disappear? Only appa knows.

KT – What if she comes back? How would you feel?

MY -I am afraid of my mom. I am suffocated. But Umma is Umma.

In the present, Kang-tae removes his hand from her cheek.

Then he goes to his desk and looks at his family photo from when he was young with his mother and Sang-tae. He touches it and a tear rolls down his cheek.

A song plays throughout this entire scene.


Sang-tae comes downstairs looking nice and handsome for the photo. Moon-young also looks very pretty in all white. She asks where Kang-tae is. Sang-tae sys he is still sleeping all curled under the covers. He is not waking up.

Moon-young asks if they should take the photo on another day. He is like, I put on good clothes and practiced posing and got ready….

She tells him, okay, Oppa, at least we can take a photo together for our book. He likes that idea.

Upstairs, we see the note on Kang-taes suit and the address for the picture.

he is awake now and is sitting up in bed. But he isn’t looking at anything in particular.


They get to the photo studio. It is a pretty huge studio that is in all white. Moon-young is a little sad. Sang-tae asks if she is okay? Do you feel bad? She says she always feels bad so don’t worry. 

Sang-tae asks if she is really going to put his photo in the author section? She says of course, you are an artist.

He says he practiced his poses. He shows them to her. She looks at him and tells him that is all fake. Then she puts his peace/victory sign down and tells him not to try too hard. Just relax. That will be the real Moon Sang-tae.

ST – The real Moon San-tae?

MY – Yes.

ST – The real Moon Kang-tae?

He looks at his reflection. Then they start the photo shoot.

The photographer says that the lady will sit on the chair and the woman will stand.

Kang-tae comes in looking like he did in Hotel de Luna. His forehead is swept back and he is wearing a suit. Sang-ate tells the photographer to wait, there is my brother, my real brother. Sang-ate is so happy.

Moon-yong is speechless, breathless, happy. They both smile as he walks up.

He walks to them.

KT – I’m not late yet, right?

They both smile at him, he smiles at them. 

They take the photo. It is a family photo so the photographer tells them to smile. 

They all smile pleasantly.

Fade Out


Okay, theory time! Don’t read ahead if you don’t want to read potential spoilers!

Okay so I think they are setting this up for Sang-tae and Moon-young to be brother and sister. It started with the cartoon that kind of already had a conclusion in the last episode (which was so lovely!). But I have a feeling the family thing is still carrying on.

They mention a lot this episode about Moon-young and Sang-tae looking alike or acting alike and they also eluded to last names a lot and family registries. So it just feels like this is happening.

It is also a potential way for Kang-tae to get over Moon-young’s mother killing his mother (if that is what happened) because her mother is also Sang-tae’s biological mother. Kang-tae is technically the odd one out because he is the one that is not blood related to them. So it would be a big switcheroo but a good switcheroo because they can still get married (and get biblical, let’s get real😂).

Okay, so that is my big theory! Not sure if it is true or not, but it does feel like they are at least planning some kind of plot along those lines. We shall see if that actually happens!

See y’all next week!


English Translation

KT – Ko Moon-young, if I ask you to live somewhere else, will you come?

MY – If I was born as your mom’s daughter and you were born as my fathers daughter

JR – My mom would have already killed you because you don’t behave.

Man – Don’t trust anyone.

KT – Whoever touches us will pay for it.

MY – Am I part of your family?


Henry is an artist who loves to doodle when he had a change, though painting portraits is his bread and butter. He also has a famous artist mother who he is avoiding at the moment. He loves being single and spending time alone, but all that will change when he meets Emma. In fact, a lot of things go haywire when he meets Emma!

You can read a Chapter One excerpt to learn more about her! We also have Chapter Two and Chapter Three excerpts available. More chapters are coming up this coming week as we countdown to release day!

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  1. Marmele
    July 26, 2020 / 11:10 am

    The Woman said: I will take care of my kid – to sangtaes mother. I am honest, i hope there will no
    incest story unfold. I feel so sorry for the three of them.

    Moonyoungs father – who will soon die- might tell the story on his deathbed in a
    last lucid moment. But seriously i need the show to give them another round of
    healing because now it throw s rocks at them.

    It is surley the best show i have seen this year. I love it to pieces <3
    Thank you as always for your hard work!

  2. Jane M
    July 26, 2020 / 12:54 pm

    OK – taking a breath. And another breath… That is the first time in my life I found myself tapping my heart with my hand while crying seeing Sang-Tae grow so much in this episode. I have become a K-drama trope! I love these characters! They are all so supportive of each other – I just want to move there and be their friend. Also, whatever children arise from the (I assume) impending wedding between Moon-Young and Hong-Tae are going to be GORGEOUS, just like that family portrait is going to be.

    Seriously – do you know where the OK Psychiatric Hospital scenes are filmed? I’m retired, and I’m ready to sell everything I own to move there! It is so beautiful.

    I think I mentioned before that I believe Moon-Young and Sang-Tae are brother and sister. And I also think there were 2 “mothers” living in that mansion with Moon-Young and her father. Moon-Young’s vision of a woman drowning in a lake does not gibe with her description of her mother being locked in the cellar while bleeding (and being severely injured as she described in a previous episode). I think the woman locked in the cellar was the murderer and that she killed Moon-Young’s and Sang-Tae’s real mother, as well as Kang-Tae’s mother. Soon-Young’s father is the key here, so I hope Moon-Young and he will be able to talk soon.

    • Jane M
      July 26, 2020 / 12:56 pm

      I’m sorry about my previous comment. I typed spoiler alert, but I guess it was interpreted as an HTML tag and deleted. I don’t mean to spoil anyone’s enjoyment with my theories.

      • V
        July 28, 2020 / 6:47 pm

        Oh no, not sure if it was deleted but I can definitely check!

        • Jane M
          July 29, 2020 / 9:56 am

          oh – just the words warning about spoilers was deleted, not the entire post. thanks!

    • V
      July 28, 2020 / 6:48 pm

      Two mothers is something I have not thought about, but I love it!

  3. IMJB
    July 27, 2020 / 1:43 pm

    I think the head nurse is Do Hui Jae!

    • V
      July 28, 2020 / 6:46 pm

      Oooh! That would be a twist!

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